The 'holiday blues'

Depression can strike anybody at any time. But the holiday season tends to trigger it.

It's ironic that a seemingly joyful time can bring emotional turmoil. Yet stress, fatigue, financial worries, loneliness and other factors often surface each season, causing the "holiday blues."

What's getting you down?

If you tend to feel down before, during or after the holidays, try to identify what makes you feel that way. It can help you come up with ways to deal with your feelings.

Do you get depressed because…

you feel overwhelmed or "stressed out"? Going to parties, hosting dinners, spending more money than you should, trying to please everyone, etc., can tire you out physically, mentally and financially.
you feel lonely? Maybe you're single and far from family. Maybe you have grown children who won't be with you during the holidays, and you can't stop thinking about how things used to be.
you've lost a loved one? The holidays are especially tough times for those mourning recent and past losses.
you have family around, but don't enjoy being with them? Family tensions can ruin holiday gatherings.

If stress is the culprit, find less overwhelming ways to celebrate. You don't have to do everything the way you've always done it. Keep things simple and meaningful. If there are aspects of your annual celebration that you've always wanted to change, go ahead and change. Scrap the big party and have just a few friends over. Limit gift giving. Draw names if you have a lot of people on your list. Learn more about dealing with holiday stress.

If loneliness is the issue, plan in advance exactly how you'll spend the holiday. For example, if you have close friends nearby, let them know you'd like to see them. Sometimes people get so caught up in their own holiday rush that they don't realize you have no place to go. If you don't have friends nearby, call local volunteer agencies to find out how you can take part in serving meals to those in need, distribute gifts to children, etc. If you wait until just a few days before the holiday, you may not want to leave the house because you're feeling so sad.

If you're mourning a loved one, think about having a simple ceremony. Get together with others to light a candle, say a prayer, have a quiet meditation or find another way to remember your loved one. Although it might feel a little uncomfortable at first, everyone may find that remembering a loved one together makes the holiday more meaningful and helps you feel connected to each other. If you don't have anyone to have a ceremony with, you may find comfort and connection through a grief support group.

If you don't enjoy family gatherings, set realistic expectations for them. A brief holiday season can't make your life perfect, can't make difficult people act different, etc. The more you expect, the more you set yourself up for disappointment. Learn more about dealing with the family over the holidays.

When to get help

If holiday depression happens year after year, think about talking to a mental health professional. You and your counselor or therapist can come up with ways to make the holidays something to look forward to.

If your holiday blues persist into the winter, it might be a good idea to talk with your primary care doctor about how you're feeling. You may actually have a case of depression that needs medical treatment.