Older brothers and sisters

Helping siblings adjust to a new baby is part of the process of creating your new family.

During your pregnancy

Include your older children in as much of your pregnancy as you can.

• Let them help you prepare for your baby.
• Read books together about new babies.
• Visit friends who have new babies.
• Let them feel your baby kick.
• Use simple pictures to show them how your baby is growing, and talk about how special it is to be a new brother or sister.

When you go to the hospital

• Leave a picture of yourself with older children.
• Leave a tape of your voice reading a favorite story.
• Call them on the phone.
• Leave a card or note written by you.
• Have them visit you.
• Spend some time alone together before you introduce your baby.
• Don't expect perfect behavior when your older children come to visit --they've missed you, and they may not immediately bond with your baby.
• Mark the special occasion of becoming a brother or sister with a small treat or special gift.

When you get back home

• Spend just-you-and-me time with each child each day, even if it's only minutes.
• Tell older children stories about when they were babies.
• Get out your older child's baby book and look through it together.
• Give older children extra attention, cuddles, praise and love.
• Be patient if older children wet the bed, suck their thumbs and "try on" baby behavior for a while.

Related Links

Class: New Brother, New Sister

Your newborn, baby

First published: 10/04/2002
Last updated: 06/19/2003

Reviewed by: Allina Patient Education experts