Second trimester: How you may feel emotionally

You and your partner

During this trimester, many women become very sensitive to changes in their partners. You may worry about whether or not your partner really wants this baby. When you ask, the answers you get may not feel reassuring enough, and you may ask again and again.

Let your partner know that you need to feel supported and loved. Invite your partner to attend prenatal classes and clinic visits with you. When this happens, praise your partner and repeat how important this support is to you.

Mood swings You may notice mood swings that don't feel like "the old you." You may feel familiar feelings, more intensely. Or you may experience worry and concern that you aren't used to feeling. These are normal during pregnancy, but they can make daily life more than a little adventurous. Your partner may feel frustrated trying to live with your ups and downs, too. Try to talk about what you are feeling. When you feel calm and even, let your partner know that you realize your moodiness can be challenging.

Adjusting to another baby

Your adjustments

If this baby has an older brother- or sister-to-be at home, you already know what life with a child is like.

Sometimes, parents worry about being able to share their love with another child when they already love the first one so much. If you feel like you could never duplicate what you feel for your first child, you're right. That is a unique relationship that cannot be copied. But your relationship with your new baby will be unique, too.

Your new baby will be an individual from birth, with definite likes and dislikes and a distinctive personality. This will help you and your partner form a special attachment to your second baby that is as loving as that with your first.

Your older child's adjustments

It's important to help your older child adjust now to the idea of a new baby. The idea can make a child feel both excited and anxious, and you can help your child deal with both feelings.

Make your messages age-appropriate and easy for your child to understand. To help, there are many good children's books about new babies in the family. Make a special trip to the bookstore and choose one or two together. Read them often at bedtime or other cuddly times.

Good messages to send your older child(ren):

• You can help us get ready to welcome our new baby. Involve your child in ways that make her feel important and grown up. "Our baby will need a blanket. What color do you think would be best?" "I have to rest now to help our baby grow. Will you help me by reading a book with me?"
• You have a special place in our family. Find ways to reassure your child of your constant love. "I am so happy that this baby will have a terrific brother like you!" "Let's not talk about baby stuff right now. Let's go do something that's fun for older kids!"
• It's OK to ask questions. Whatever the age, your child has questions. "Where is the baby now?" "Will our baby be able to talk right away?" "Do I have to share my bed?" When you answer questions matter-of-factly, simply, and thoroughly, you help your child feel secure and comforted.
• We prepared for you this way, too. Reassure your child with the knowledge that your first pregnancy was just as exciting as this one. "Does it seem like we talk about our baby all the time? Boy, when we were getting ready for you, we talked about you all the time, too!" "When I was waiting for you to be born, I could hardly wait!"
• Babies can be boring. Your child may be expecting the baby to appear, 6-years-old and ready for fun. A newborn who only sleeps, cries and takes up Mom's time is hardly a terrific playmate. Prepare your child for reality and praise the abilities of being older. "Babies are fun to hold, but they can't run and jump like you can." "At first, babies can only sleep and eat. What are all the things you can do?"

Related Links

Relaxation techniques

Allina Behavioral Health Services

How you may feel physically

How you may feel sexually

Minnesota Hospital Association: Depression During and After Pregnancy

First published: 10/04/2002
Last updated: 06/19/2003

Reviewed by: Allina Patient Education experts