Going home after a pregnancy lossLeaving the hospital without your baby and going home to an empty nursery is very difficult. Your partner, family, and friends will want to help, but they will have their own grief, too. A child life specialist or counselor may be available to give you direction or suggestions about your children's grief process based on your children's ages and your family values.
Let people knowYou may wish to call family and friends to let them know what happened. If that is hard, or if you prefer, you might write a brief announcement note, such as "We sadly announce the birth and death of our very special daughter, Julia Louise, February 3." A date and time of a memorial service and/or requests for donations to a charity could also be listed. Some people find e-mail an easy way to notify extended family and friends.
Handle the nurseryWell-meaning friends and family may offer to put your baby's toys and clothing away before you return from the hospital. You may find that doing this yourself, in your own time and in your own way, will be therapeutic.
Consider taking maternity leaveYou might want to consider taking at least part of your planned maternity leave after giving birth. Your body still needs time to heal. If you and your partner planned time off together, you can spend that time together recovering and supporting each other. Returning to the pressures of work may not be best for you right now. Take time to absorb what has happened to your family and give yourself time to grieve and mourn. Grief is often exhausting -- take care of yourself.
Pregnancy loss: Support groups Infant/child loss services Pregnancy loss Allina Grief Resources
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