What you can do during labor and birth

As a labor companion, your support, love, and encouragement will be very valuable. Throughout each phase, there is much you can do to help your partner deal with labor and birth.

First stage of labor -- Early phase

Help keep her calm and relaxed.
Reassure her that she has learned to cope with contractions.
Help her stay comfortable in or out of bed.
Massage tense areas, or do an overall body massage.
Encourage her to keep her entire body relaxed.
Try to sleep or rest yourself, if it's your normal sleeping time.
Encourage her to eat lightly and drink fluids.

First stage of labor -- Active phase of labor

Help her change positions often and get comfortable.
Remind her to go to the bathroom often.
Talk her through contractions.
Help her visualize relaxing situations.
Praise her on how well she's dealing with labor.
Keep her lips and mouth moist with sips of water or ice chips.
Give her encouragement and moral support.
Keep talking and listening to her.
Adjust the bed for better positions.

First stage of labor -- Transition phase

Talk her through contractions.
Breathe with her if it helps.
Be prepared for contractions with multiple peaks or ones that don't seem to go away.
Watch for signs of pushing. She has so much to concentrate on that you may notice her moaning or hear her holding her breath and figure out that it's an urge to push before she does.
Use a firm but loving and positive approach.
Help her relax between contractions.
Understand if she feels frustrated, short-tempered, or upset.
Tell her you know she can do this.
Praise her.
Help her anticipate the next contraction and begin breathing before it starts.
Stay with her.

Second stage of labor -- Pushing

Let her push in the way that feels most effective for her. For more details, see Techniques for birth: Pushing.
Ask her how you can help or try something yourself (hold her legs, support her back, talk her through the push).
Don't pull back too far on her legs.
Remind her to keep her chin down and not to arch her back.
Help her get comfortable.
Remind her to relax below and to relax her face.
Encourage her to rest between contractions.
Have your camera ready.
When you start to see your baby's head, tell her.

Third stage of labor -- After birth

Ask her health care provider if you can cut the umbilical cord, if you wish.
Hold your baby skin-to-skin (to your skin, or help hold baby to Mom's).
Communicate her wishes to the nurses for immediate breastfeeding, time alone, or whatever she's told you she wants.
Take pictures.
Ask about your baby's Apgar score. This is an assessment of your baby's well-being, done right after at birth and repeated again 5 minutes later. The health care provider will assign your baby a number that reflects your baby's color, heart rate, muscle tone, cry and reflexes. It is common for the first Apgar score to be lower than the second. It takes most babies a few minutes to start to cry vigorously, turn pink, and move actively. For more information, see What happens to your baby after birth.

Advance preparations

To be even more help, and to set your own mind at ease, become familiar with what to expect during labor and birth.

The labor companion's quick checklist can help you through common labor and birth situations. Read it through ahead of time, so you'll know where to find answers quickly when you need them.